Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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