i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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