i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
