I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
