i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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