God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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