i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
