Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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