You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
