also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Randomize
