I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
How naked do you want me to be?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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