The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
