omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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