He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
