dude i'm inner monologue high
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
