she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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