you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
