brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I bet he comes in French.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
