why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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