after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
