i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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