Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
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