If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Randomize
