Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
