I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
