if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
it glows. i had to have it.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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