I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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