Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Randomize