I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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