this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
