My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize