The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
