we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize