Just fell off a train. Bad.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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