Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
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