Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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