i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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