that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
