youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
