hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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