I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
