If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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