SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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