she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize