You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
