That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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