Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize