we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
