Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
