There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
