Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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