i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
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