im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Randomize
