maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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