I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
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