butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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