He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
