Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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