So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
