lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
