You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
