She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
