i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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